Acceptance.
Can I accept?
Which phrase don't I understand?
And so it is.
It is what it is.
Being.
Being Here and Now.
Being OK with the Here and Now.
The Now.
Now.
Now is perfect.
I am alright with Now, and I Love the Being Here and Now most often, and I know that what Is often just Is, and can’t be changed.
But.........
Presently, I must Accept the dying of two dear friends. One will precede the other within the year. And if not in a year, then too soon. The loss of two people who I turn to for love, answers.
Both know of their impending death from cancer. They have time to process and make peace and Accept. Just as I must come to Accept that these two dearest ones will soon be unavailable physically. They'll still give me answers, if I'm open to listen to them. But the physical here and now of contact will be gone.
It is Yom Kippur today, and I can't stop thinking of them.
One is Laura. She recently gave me one of the greatest gifts one could receive: words of wisdom that penetrate one's soul. Words which ring true as soon as they are heard, which cut to the quick, which must be examined, pondered, thus made my own, taken into my being. Once I caught their meaning, her words had the power to change my frame of reference, my angle of vision, my point of view, and I opened to the hormonal shifts which this new perspective created: a peaceful cascade of cellular changes. Her wisdom and power has now totally infused me, has become part of my fabric, my new truth. Laura’s words were the catalyst to help shift my focus, thus shift my pain/discomfort level.
I spent two wonderful days at Laura's home in Willits, less than one mile from where Margaret and I had lived. Being there was comforting to me on a very deep level. It felt easy to be there, easy to talk and try to make myself useful with cooking and small chores. And my comfort in her home was increased by the presence of Margaret's favorite chair and some artwork which Laura purchased after Margaret's death. So I was surrounded by pieces of my old home, as well as Laura's love.
Laura has terminal breast cancer which has spread to her liver, lungs, and spine. Her most recent bout of chemo therapy has made her bald, revealing a very beautiful head. She is graceful beyond words. She glides across the floor when up, and gestures gracefully with her hands when sitting, which is usually the case; her stamina is poor.
Sitting and talking in her living room on the first of our two days together, I complained that my soul, when I am in southern California, my current home, is not being fed. “My soul’s not being fed there.”
And she wisely replyed,: “No, it is being fed, you just don’t like what it’s being fed. It’s bitter, and you want sweet.”
These were her Words of Wisdom which jolted my being. Which caused my positive shift of perspective. After pondering her reply, I had an epiphany: Who is responsible for what my soul eats/is fed? Why me, only I alone am responsible. (Excluding Grace of Course, which may feed our soul without our doing, out of the blue, a blessing.) So I've gone about my life here in southern California with a lighter step, with more daily joy, with mindfulness of feeding my soul.
This is just one very small piece of what this woman Laura has given me. She is my dear friend and I don’t want to lose her. I know it is “only” on the physical plane, but this plane houses the specific soul package of Laura, who I can phone and ask: “Now tell me again, how do cells communicate?” She always explains things so easily and gracefully. She is one of the smartest people I know. She is a physician, can learn/figure out anything, has tremendous, true insight, is vulnerable, is self aware. She is a graceful and wise woman. And what an honor to witness her beauty, grace, and wisdom.
She shared the eulogy she wrote for herself, and I have her permission to quote from it:
"I do believe that surrendering to Divine will allows the Universe to work in ways that are infinitely benign, although unfathomable. My surrender was a daily commitment, and some days were easier than others. But even the bliss of total surrender embraces the very human grief we feel with loss."
September 26, 2009
September 10, 2009
Michael Pollan Rocks!!!
Quote from Michael Pollan's editorial in this morning's N.Y. Times, as a reaction to President Obama's speech to Congress last nite:
"Even the most efficient health care system that the administration could hope to devise would still confront a rising tide of chronic disease linked to diet.
That’s why our success in bringing health care costs under control ultimately depends on whether Washington can summon the political will to take on and reform a second, even more powerful industry: the food industry.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, three-quarters of health care spending now goes to treat “preventable chronic diseases.” Not all of these diseases are linked to diet — there’s smoking, for instance — but many, if not most, of them are.
Cheap food is going to be popular as long as the social and environmental costs of that food are charged to the future. There’s lots of money to be made selling fast food and then treating the diseases that fast food causes. One of the leading products of the American food industry has become patients for the American health care industry."
Michael Pollan Rocks!!! Keep Telling It Like It Is!!!!
"Even the most efficient health care system that the administration could hope to devise would still confront a rising tide of chronic disease linked to diet.
That’s why our success in bringing health care costs under control ultimately depends on whether Washington can summon the political will to take on and reform a second, even more powerful industry: the food industry.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, three-quarters of health care spending now goes to treat “preventable chronic diseases.” Not all of these diseases are linked to diet — there’s smoking, for instance — but many, if not most, of them are.
Cheap food is going to be popular as long as the social and environmental costs of that food are charged to the future. There’s lots of money to be made selling fast food and then treating the diseases that fast food causes. One of the leading products of the American food industry has become patients for the American health care industry."
Michael Pollan Rocks!!! Keep Telling It Like It Is!!!!
September 07, 2009
New Food Industry Fraud
Hello FDA,
I do hope that someone there is listening:
Please do NOT allow our disease producing food industry to use their new:
Smart Choices Program
to mislead the public by adding their newest trick,
a green check mark "Smart Choice" label to food packages.
As Marion Nestle (Professor of Nutrition/Food Studies at N.Y. University) so aptly stated, "This is just another gimmick of the food industry. People need to be eating food which is as UNPROCESSED as possible."
Please FDA, do not allow "food" such as Froot Loops to get this industry generated Smart (Stupid) Choice label.
Our food industry has mis-informed the American consumer for decades.
They are the new Tobacco Industry - creating disease and death, and getting away with it.
INSTEAD: Why not the FDA create a TRUE Smart Choice Label: with a big fat RED X marked on all disease creating food, such as:
~~food with greater than 50% refined flour
~~food with greater than 30% of calories from refined sugars
~~food with greater than 200 mg sodium per serving
~~food which contains trans fat
~~food which contains greater than 30% saturated fat
I am a retired Registered Dietitian and know the pain and suffering caused by our present food industry, and especially our fast food industry.
Thank You,
Mary Farkas, M.S., M.A. Retired R.D.
Let the FDA hear from YOU: consumer@fda.gov
I do hope that someone there is listening:
Please do NOT allow our disease producing food industry to use their new:
Smart Choices Program
to mislead the public by adding their newest trick,
a green check mark "Smart Choice" label to food packages.
As Marion Nestle (Professor of Nutrition/Food Studies at N.Y. University) so aptly stated, "This is just another gimmick of the food industry. People need to be eating food which is as UNPROCESSED as possible."
Please FDA, do not allow "food" such as Froot Loops to get this industry generated Smart (Stupid) Choice label.
Our food industry has mis-informed the American consumer for decades.
They are the new Tobacco Industry - creating disease and death, and getting away with it.
INSTEAD: Why not the FDA create a TRUE Smart Choice Label: with a big fat RED X marked on all disease creating food, such as:
~~food with greater than 50% refined flour
~~food with greater than 30% of calories from refined sugars
~~food with greater than 200 mg sodium per serving
~~food which contains trans fat
~~food which contains greater than 30% saturated fat
I am a retired Registered Dietitian and know the pain and suffering caused by our present food industry, and especially our fast food industry.
Thank You,
Mary Farkas, M.S., M.A. Retired R.D.
Let the FDA hear from YOU: consumer@fda.gov
September 02, 2009
Dear Mr. President
I wrote this to Barack today. The White House has a place for each of us to post a letter to our President. I want him to be My President; that's why I voted for him. I am not naive, I am not angry.
But my soul is weary. I am tired of seeing lines of thousands waiting for health care from Remote Area Medical, a non-profit originally set up to serve the poor in "non-developed" nations. I am tired of seeing starving children in African nations torn by war. I am tired of hearing stories of brutality to women and children, and seeing their lives disrupted by refuge camps, rape, torture, lack of everything; I am tired of knowing that 1 in 6 people do not have access to clean water. I am weary of the Insanity that passes for human adulthood.
So I wrote a letter to Barack. It doesn't address ALL of the things I'm weary of, but it's a way to put my voice into the world, like a prayer. We put the voice of our soul into the world.
Dear Sir, Mr. Obama, My President,
I write to you as a life long Democrat who was even a Young Democrat in my youth, a Retired Registered Dietitian living on a fixed income, a Lesbian, a daughter of a Holocaust Survivor, a Concerned Loyal Citizen of our Nation.
I voted for you because you said Vote for Me and You Will Get Change. I voted for Change. I voted for a Paradigm Shift. I voted for a Brave Leader to Tackle the Hard, but Necessary Changes we must make.
We must change our system of medicine, which rewards doctors intervening when truly, it's too too late. The African-American woman with hypertension, diabetes, arthritis, maybe even some gastro-esophageal reflux, and over-weight or obesity; this woman who is working full time, caring for her grandchildren, relying on Fast Food to feed her family (McDonalds has a new: 365 Black web site, even); this woman doesn't need a Health Care Machine that eats one-sixth of our budget. No. This woman needs rest, sleep, good quality food, and security of work. When she has this, she will not have the "life-style" diseases which are a hallmark of our obese and poor. Hell, even the Insane Repuglicans are fat (and poor in their souls and minds).
Please, please, please assure passage of MEANINGFUL HEALTH REFORM: a government run insurance alternative with Preventive Care reimbursement (including Medical Nutrition Therapy and Physical Therapy); a government led campaign to change our present School Lunch requirements to those which support, not destroy, health. Tax shifts which begin to punish the purveyors of food which creates disease.
The best defense against Swine Flu or ANY infection is a healthy immune system. Subsidize those foods which promote immune health.
I Love You. I am Grateful, Daily, To God, Goddess, The Creator that You Are My President. Be My President.
Mary Farkas, M.S., M.A.
my website: www.eldermuse.net
But my soul is weary. I am tired of seeing lines of thousands waiting for health care from Remote Area Medical, a non-profit originally set up to serve the poor in "non-developed" nations. I am tired of seeing starving children in African nations torn by war. I am tired of hearing stories of brutality to women and children, and seeing their lives disrupted by refuge camps, rape, torture, lack of everything; I am tired of knowing that 1 in 6 people do not have access to clean water. I am weary of the Insanity that passes for human adulthood.
So I wrote a letter to Barack. It doesn't address ALL of the things I'm weary of, but it's a way to put my voice into the world, like a prayer. We put the voice of our soul into the world.
Dear Sir, Mr. Obama, My President,
I write to you as a life long Democrat who was even a Young Democrat in my youth, a Retired Registered Dietitian living on a fixed income, a Lesbian, a daughter of a Holocaust Survivor, a Concerned Loyal Citizen of our Nation.
I voted for you because you said Vote for Me and You Will Get Change. I voted for Change. I voted for a Paradigm Shift. I voted for a Brave Leader to Tackle the Hard, but Necessary Changes we must make.
We must change our system of medicine, which rewards doctors intervening when truly, it's too too late. The African-American woman with hypertension, diabetes, arthritis, maybe even some gastro-esophageal reflux, and over-weight or obesity; this woman who is working full time, caring for her grandchildren, relying on Fast Food to feed her family (McDonalds has a new: 365 Black web site, even); this woman doesn't need a Health Care Machine that eats one-sixth of our budget. No. This woman needs rest, sleep, good quality food, and security of work. When she has this, she will not have the "life-style" diseases which are a hallmark of our obese and poor. Hell, even the Insane Repuglicans are fat (and poor in their souls and minds).
Please, please, please assure passage of MEANINGFUL HEALTH REFORM: a government run insurance alternative with Preventive Care reimbursement (including Medical Nutrition Therapy and Physical Therapy); a government led campaign to change our present School Lunch requirements to those which support, not destroy, health. Tax shifts which begin to punish the purveyors of food which creates disease.
The best defense against Swine Flu or ANY infection is a healthy immune system. Subsidize those foods which promote immune health.
I Love You. I am Grateful, Daily, To God, Goddess, The Creator that You Are My President. Be My President.
Mary Farkas, M.S., M.A.
my website: www.eldermuse.net
August 30, 2009
Obama At Teddy's Funeral
Did you catch the depths of emotion on Barack's face, a few minutes before Teddy's casket was removed from the hearse by the eight service men. (I had to wonder why at least ONE female military member couldn't be included......)
I believe I now understand Barack's high head tilt, with neck extended, his chin jutting in the air, eyes sometimes closed. This posture has intrigued me for months now. So unlike other politicians who seek the camera on their entire face.
This morning sitting with Michelle solemn by his side, his grief was visable, nay, almost palpable. His heaving deep sigh, quivering chin, and clenched jaw. Holding back tears. He lost the woman he loved the longest in his life, his maternal grandmother, less than a year ago.
I now comprehend that his tilted head is how he can take a private moment for himself, amist any size crowd, any number of cameras attempting to intrude.
I believe I now understand Barack's high head tilt, with neck extended, his chin jutting in the air, eyes sometimes closed. This posture has intrigued me for months now. So unlike other politicians who seek the camera on their entire face.
This morning sitting with Michelle solemn by his side, his grief was visable, nay, almost palpable. His heaving deep sigh, quivering chin, and clenched jaw. Holding back tears. He lost the woman he loved the longest in his life, his maternal grandmother, less than a year ago.
I now comprehend that his tilted head is how he can take a private moment for himself, amist any size crowd, any number of cameras attempting to intrude.
August 28, 2009
Thank You David Goldhill
More thanks are in order to people in today's world who can see past the insanity. Today I Thank: David Goldhill who wrote an enlightening piece about our health care system.
I quote from his piece in September's The Atlantic (http://www.theatlantic.com/):
How American Health Care Killed My Father:
"Accidentally, but relentlessly, America has built a health-care system
with incentives that inexorably generate terrible and perverse
results. Incentives that emphasize health care over any other aspect
of health and well-being. That emphasize treatment over prevention.
That disguise true costs. That favor complexity, and discourage
transparent competition based on price or quality. That result in
a generational pyramid scheme rather than sustainable financing.
And that - most important - remove consumers from our irreplaceable
role as the ultimate ensurer of value."
He systematically looks at a hospital and health care behemoth which will take more than a trillion dollars to feed, and which takes tax dollars AWAY form the needs which truly affect our health: nutrition (yes, righting our horrible food system which is the cause of fully one-third of all cancers, and all of our "lifestyle" diseases), exercise, education, emotional security, our natural environment, and public safety.
Goldhill writes, "By what mechanism does society determine that an extra, say, $100 billion for health care will make us healthier than even $10 billion for cleaner air or water, or $25 billion for better nutrition, or $5 billion for parks..... The answer is, no mechanism at all. Health care simply keeps gobbling up national resources, seemingly without regard to other societal needs....."
And David Goldhill looked into the monster of health care after his father died from an iatrogenic infection passed on by doctors who didn't wash their hands.
Oh Semmelweis would be rolling in his grave.
I quote from his piece in September's The Atlantic (http://www.theatlantic.com/):
How American Health Care Killed My Father:
"Accidentally, but relentlessly, America has built a health-care system
with incentives that inexorably generate terrible and perverse
results. Incentives that emphasize health care over any other aspect
of health and well-being. That emphasize treatment over prevention.
That disguise true costs. That favor complexity, and discourage
transparent competition based on price or quality. That result in
a generational pyramid scheme rather than sustainable financing.
And that - most important - remove consumers from our irreplaceable
role as the ultimate ensurer of value."
He systematically looks at a hospital and health care behemoth which will take more than a trillion dollars to feed, and which takes tax dollars AWAY form the needs which truly affect our health: nutrition (yes, righting our horrible food system which is the cause of fully one-third of all cancers, and all of our "lifestyle" diseases), exercise, education, emotional security, our natural environment, and public safety.
Goldhill writes, "By what mechanism does society determine that an extra, say, $100 billion for health care will make us healthier than even $10 billion for cleaner air or water, or $25 billion for better nutrition, or $5 billion for parks..... The answer is, no mechanism at all. Health care simply keeps gobbling up national resources, seemingly without regard to other societal needs....."
And David Goldhill looked into the monster of health care after his father died from an iatrogenic infection passed on by doctors who didn't wash their hands.
Oh Semmelweis would be rolling in his grave.
Free to Make Peace
I must walk twice daily to feed my desire to feel the sky
the near constant breeze, the air on my face.
I need this as much as I need/desire my two cups of strong
black tea each morning.
I love to feel how my body moves through the air
interacting with the sounds, large and small,
and the flying creatures that are at eye level;
sometimes even a precious butterfly.
I watch for the creatures at my feet, small lizards mostly,
these seem to be in all hot climes. Their beings on walls
or sidewalks have given me delight in Arizona, Florida,
New Mexico, India, Israel, Mexico, and Peru.
And now here in desert heat that is southern California.
I am making peace with being here.
The twice daily walks help me to experience the fact of air,
temperature, plants and creatures, my surroundings,
the physicality of this part of the earth that I inhabit.
The act of being in the space of the world, allowing my body
to feel the world, allowing my mind to connect to my Creator,
to connect to what is good in my life; this brings me joy
and routine.
Anytime a soul can be outdoors, she is free to make peace
with her life. Free to see a perspective broader than the
confines of her home walls and mind.
the near constant breeze, the air on my face.
I need this as much as I need/desire my two cups of strong
black tea each morning.
I love to feel how my body moves through the air
interacting with the sounds, large and small,
and the flying creatures that are at eye level;
sometimes even a precious butterfly.
I watch for the creatures at my feet, small lizards mostly,
these seem to be in all hot climes. Their beings on walls
or sidewalks have given me delight in Arizona, Florida,
New Mexico, India, Israel, Mexico, and Peru.
And now here in desert heat that is southern California.
I am making peace with being here.
The twice daily walks help me to experience the fact of air,
temperature, plants and creatures, my surroundings,
the physicality of this part of the earth that I inhabit.
The act of being in the space of the world, allowing my body
to feel the world, allowing my mind to connect to my Creator,
to connect to what is good in my life; this brings me joy
and routine.
Anytime a soul can be outdoors, she is free to make peace
with her life. Free to see a perspective broader than the
confines of her home walls and mind.
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