September 29, 2015

Black Lives Matter, Black Bodies, Women’s Bodies

Lately, I’ve been reading and admiring the young Black voice and profound insights of Ta-Nehisi Coates and the Black Lives Matter Movement.  Just yesterday it was announced that he won a MacArthur Genius Award ($500,000 given over 5 years).
Ta-Nehisi writes about the embodiment of racism.  How racism was and is FELT very primally in one's body, in his body.  Ta-Nehisi’s book: Between the World and Me, written as a letter to his 15 year old son, talks about his abject fear growing up as a Black young man in Baltimore.  A fear which he felt viscerally, deep in his body.
He writes:
“Racism dislodges brains, blocks airways, extracts organs, cracks bones, breaks teeth.  You must NEVER look away from this.”  And: “Here is what I would like for you to know: In America, it is traditional to destroy the black body – it is heritage.” 

Mr. Coates also rightly notes that whites “presume” their “whiteness”.  How easily white society forgets that we are ALL AFRICAN.  We ALL originated from one Black people.
We are ALL multi-colored skin.  “Whiteness” is a myth, as is the concept of “race.”  But it has, and repeatedly continues to use the “just-ice” system to destroy lives with skin which happens to be darker.  Racism IS America’s heritage.

The Black Lives Movement’s representatives Daunasia Yancy and Julius Jones tussled with Hillary Clinton this summer, asking her to account for her role in the mass incarceration of young Black men.
  She and Bill advocated harsh penalties for non-violent crimes.  Hillary pushed back, asking the Black Lives Matter spokespeople what specific legislative changes are they asking for. 
Legislation is an engine to change minds and entrenched attitudes, but I believe Black Lives Matter is asking globally for whites to change their hearts, to change their centuries of stereotypes about Blacks.  To stop seeing Blacks as “the other.” They are asking not to be murdered willy-nilly by the State’s Police Authority which operates in a near terrorist mode against Blacks.

Of course, I could not read Ta-Nehisi’s work, nor could I hear interviews with the Black Lives Matter representatives without thinking: “Yes.  Of course.  Everything that they are saying is exactly how it feels to inhabit a woman’s body.”   And Black women  experience BOTH racism and sexism.  Thank you to my dear friend Demita Frazier, and to Barbara and Beverly Smith and the other pioneering Black women of the Combahee River Collective.  You can google their Collective’s manifesto which clearly identified the multi-layered forces of oppression they experience as Black women: race, class, gender, and sexual orientation.  Today, the term for this multi-layered consciousness of oppression is: “intersections” which I don’t think truly conveys the intensity, sometimes horror, of what it means to live in a Black and “non-white” female body. 

Society would not consider me Black, despite my being of African origin (as we ALL are), but I am female and have experienced firsthand how Sexism primally, viscerally is felt in my body.  How often did I experience abject fear, cold visceral fear while walking home as a young girl, young woman on the streets of New York City.  My near rape in the hallway of our Manhattan apartment building when I was 8 years old created a firm knowledge that I was not safe.  After this near rape, I carried a small pocket knife for “protection”.  Of course it wouldn’t have protected me from another assault, but my body felt safer.  The men sitting opposite me in the subway jerking off (yes, in public).  The cat calls and lewd remarks made while minding my own business just walking on the street.  The calculations I made when entering my apartment building:  if I enter via the basement and quickly run up the stairs to wait for the elevator on the first floor, I’ll be able to hear if someone is following me.  Always afraid, always looking over my shoulder, my young being,  ready to avert the next attacker.

We are well into the TWENTY-FIRST century and society’s attitudes towards women have not  budged since my youth.  The assaults and rapes (on our streets, in our schools, workplaces, and our military) to our bodies, our dignity, our right to exist that we still experience must stop. Even worse, the lack of consciousness amongst young women seems to also not have budged.  This summer, the 15 year old young woman raped at New Hampshire’s St. Paul, elite prep school kept repeating that SHE was sorry, that SHE didn’t want her rapist to “feel bad”, that SHE didn’t want him to “think less of her.”  Sandra Bland was threatened, pulled from her car, handcuffed, head banged to the ground by police agents of the State.  The unequal pay; no reproductive rights; menstrual protection deemed not “essential” thus taxed; the daily double standards we encounter doing simple chores and work.  Hell, the U.S. Congress didn’t have a women’s bathroom until  2011.

Yes, fear, bone crushing fear inhabits women’s bodies and minds, just as it does the bodies and minds of Black and multi-colored people.  This is America’s heritage.  Sadly, the WORLD’s heritage.    My 67 year old mind and body are tired of BOTH the racist and sexist stereotypes, the violence against Blacks, against women, the sexist and racist HERITAGE which destroys us. Enough already. September 29, 2015

May 22, 2015

May Palmyra Syria NOT Be Destroyed

The world is raging with war, killings, destroyed lives....still.  We've barely left the most horrible century for human murder, the twentieth, and there is no sign that it will let up.
It is end of May 2015 and there are more refugees and displaced persons now than at the end of World War II.
Boat loads of people escaping turmoil, failed states, chaos, murder, hunger, running to find a better life.  As Thomas Friedman of the N.Y. Times put it, they're escaping dis-order, seeking order.  Most likely it will only get worse, as climate change and income inequality become more prevalent.  In California and large swaths of the western U.S., drought is taking its toll on the lives of the poorest.  Large industrial orchards suck groundwater deeply leaving poorer more shallow wells to run dry.  Towns in central California have had no running water for months now.

But I continue to Trust.  Continue to Accept that the arc of human destiny can only improve.  Continue to Understand that this movement for the better is a slow, almost imperceptible process.  I am hopeful...still.

So I share a long quote from Amos Oz, the Israeli author, taken from an interview in the Jewish Journal ( May 15 - 21, 2015.  Oz is interviewed by Rob Eshman, Editor-in-Chief for the Jewish Journal and they're discussing the prospect of peace in the middle east and the necessity for wearing the uniform of armies:

Oz states: "Look, you have to live in this complicated world.  You have to be clearing the sewage from time to time, clean a blockage in the sewage.  And you do that, and you do that as well as you can do.  But there is not much pride in coming out of the sewage, stinking all over - you take a quick shower, you don't walk in the street claiming, "I just cleaned the sewage."  No, I don't feel any pride in wearing uniforms.  I find necessity.  I don't find...any beauty in bars on the windows and locks on the doors.  But they are a necessity."

I don't have a solution for this tangled, complicated, messy dis-ordered world we live in.
I don't know how to stop ISIS and other fanatics from killing, destroying, leaving terror and horror.

But I wanted to share Amos Oz' words because they echo how I feel.

May there be Peace, Shalom in this Dear World .......soon.

December 24, 2014

Hanukkah 2014

Seventh night of flaming light in our home.

Watching the women dance in the flame,
playing their instruments, background to the light.
Gratitude, always Gratitude.

Marsha and I have been through a mighty test.
She diagnosed with cancer, survived the brute
chemo radiation hell.
"If one survives this burning, cell killing poison
they must be meant to live,"
I commented to one of her doctors.
He just smiled.

Me losing my oldest and last sister.
We used to be three.
Issue of same mother and father.
Womb blood, blood of childhood fights, blood
of Mine.

There at her death.  Holding squeezing her hand
to let her know my presence.
She did.
She squeezed back even as she gasped for air
in her last days.
Every last bit of her strength was given up to breathe.
Every last bit of her strength squeezed out of her
each hour each minute
she fought
for air.
She fought for hours
till finally
the rattle
the tell tale sounds of the end.
I held onto her hand to the end.
Until it was over.

I've been Blessed with
Being Present at the death of
both of my sisters.
Blessed with holding them
long after their last

What a year we've had.
I am grateful that we can give light to Women Playing
silent tunes
with these miracle flames.

May 02, 2014

Prayer Written for my B'Nai Mitzvah Class

Marsha & I are taking a B'Nai Mitzvah class, with our Bat Mitzvahs scheduled to take place Saturday, July 26th (2014).
Our Temple, Beth Chayim Chadashim ( happens to be the very first, yes folks, the world's FIRST gay and lesbian (and bi and transgender) Temple in the world.
Rabbi Heather Miller who is leading our class has asked us to create a prayer.  Easy for me because I pray to G-d daily, several times a day.  
If you've read some or all of this blog, you'll find several prayers which I've written over the years. Here is a new one:

My Dearest G-d
Barauch Ha'Shem
My Dearest G-d
Yod Hai Vov Hai
El Shadai
Ha Shem
Help me to love You with all my heart and soul.
Help me to realize that loving You is the MOST important thing in my life.
Thank You for my life, for my wife - the woman who completes me -
for my health, home, family, and friends.
Thank You for the Creation of this Dear World.
Thank You for making me a Jew, for creating me in Your image, and for sustaining me in all that I do.

April 18, 2014

Flying to the End of the Earth One Day

I am still moving in with Marsha.
Post wedding, I have time to go through old files and...
lo and behold, came across a ditty from years and years ago.
A quarter page of Frances Stern Nutrition Center letterhead cut neatly to make scrap paper.
(more about Frances Stern
Nutrition Center in a future post)
On the back of the scrap letterhead, I'd written the following:

Flying to the end of the earth one day
      I beheld Golden Irises...
Diving to the floor of the deepest sea
      somersault seahorses dance with me...
Listening to the stars as they fade away
      I can hear angels laughing.

I'm sure that I did NOT write this.....but for the life of me, I can't recall where these lines came from.

Does anyone know?
I think it's beautiful.

April 12, 2014

     Our Wedding Cake

Needless to say, I have been quite occupied in the past year!
I met Marsha Epstein on J-Date (Jewish Dating) back in January, 2013.  We met face to face on February 22, 2013 and my life hasn't been the same.
We wed just one month ago on March 16, 2014.
I can honestly say, that I have never been happier in my entire life.

Now that the wedding planning is over, I will have time to write and continue to share my heart and thoughts with whomever happens upon this blog.

June 22, 2013

Poem written by Lucille Clifton

"i am accused of tending to the past"
       by  Lucille Clifton

i am accused of tending to the past
as if i made it,
as if i sculpted it
with my own hands.  i did not.
this past was waiting for me
when i came,
a monstrous unnamed baby,
and i with my mother's itch took it to breast
and named it
she is more human now,
learning languages everyday,
remembering faces, names an dates.
when she is strong enough to travel
on her own, beware, she will.

[Lucille Clifton b. 1936 d. 2010, was a phenomenal poet who wrote about feminist and African American themes.]